30 Ways to Annoy your Favourite (and Loathed) HxH Characters
by indraniFOREVER
Summary: the Assassin lady and the psychotic mom of five Zoldyck kids... and prepare your funny heads to annoy her... :D
1. Chapter 1:Gon

**Hey guys, this is my new fanfic which would apparently be easy to update, Cuz it is pretty random. One night in my dream Gon appeared before me and asked me to write a fanfic which would relate to make your fav character mad and annoyed, Cuz according to Gon...**

**Gon: the little conflicts in relationships make the bonds stronger... and give us and oppo... oppa... oppu... opo... chance to laugh!**

**Indrani: you need to work on that crappie English of yours...**

**Killua: as if you speak English like Sexpear... **

**Indrani: for goodness sake Killua... its Shakespeare... not Sexpear...and anyway... I don't own HXH... Togashi-sensei owns it...**

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**Chapter 1: 30 ways to annoy Gon**

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Before you start annoying, you need to make sure, you are-

Away from Killua, Mitou-san and occasionally Leorio and have a whole stalk of versatile intelligence... Are you ready? Now we can start-

To annoy Gon, you'll need to do-

1\. Ask him complicated maths question... The more complicated and boring... the better!

2\. Ask him if he uses PVA gum in his hair

3\. Ask him as politely as possible that if he has grown fungus in his hair

4\. Tell him that Mitou-san doesn't love him anymore

5\. And it's because he is not bright as other children

6\. Shut him in a room while playing Italian and Russian Opera remix and lots of naked Hisoka photos inside the room.

7\. Tell him that Enhancers are dumb, selfish and blockhead.

8\. Suddenly stoop low in front of him and tell him that you can see his underwear from the gap of sleeves of his pants

9\. Follow him into the bathroom and scare him from behind while he is peeing.

10\. Tell him his eyes looks like dung-beetles

11\. Play rock-paper scissors with him, WIN EVERY TIME!

12\. And then comment that it was just a waste of time and you would have spent it scratching your back.

13\. When he jumps from the tree tell him that he jumps like an up skirted ballerina...

14\. Tell him that if he wears too much green then he may have a road accident someday.

15\. If he asks how, then say 'isn't that obvious, you are carrying green signal everywhere'

16\. Steal his clothes and replace it with Bisky's

17\. call him 'unripe-fruit', 'apple-chan'.

18\. When he is showering, click some photos and let him know you did it.

19\. When he wants them back, threaten him that you have sold it to Hisoka

20\. Steal his fishing rod

21\. When he wants it back say that you have burnt it and flushed it down the toilet, which naturally isn't true.

22\. Go to him with a panicky state and say that Killua has been abducted by Illumi.

23\. When he finds out it's a false alarm give a goofy grin and say 'April Fool' no matter what month it is.

24\. Pay Palm to cuddle him all the day and night

25\. When he is sleeping, whisper 'Hiya~ Gon-chan' like Hisoka does.

26\. Throw him a surprise birthday party and all cosplay like Hisoka.

27\. sing 'Ooki na Ringo' instead of the Happy Birthday song while giving him a cake adorned with suits of cards and with icing word 'For the Green Fruit'

28\. Grope him like Hisoka... and don't miss the vital parts...

29\. pick up a green apple and lick it sensually while making weird noises and make sure he sees them.

30\. paint his face like Hisoka while he is sleeping.

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**So should I continue this one, let me know...**

**I know, it was abyssmally stupid question !**

**I was actually pretty inspired by a Beyblade fic of that kind which was very funny to me... and if you wanna annoy your beloved/behated character then you can request me via your review and that way I would know whether I should continue or not...**

**Anyhow the song 'Ooki na Ringo' is featured in 'The Nightmare of Zaoldyeck' sung by the 1999 voice actor of Hisoka, Hiroki Takahashi.**


	2. Chapter 2: Killua

**Oh hi, and I think I will be getting more shoes for making Gon cry and I am really sorry for that...and now... **

**Indrani: *hugging Gon tightly* I am sorry cutie pie... to make you cry**

**Gon: *patting back* its okay, you love me right... so it's cool...**

**Indrani: Yeah! Now that's like my Gon-chan... *looking suspiciously around for a certain psycho redhead***

**Anyway, enjoy annoying!**

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**Chapter 2: 30 ways to annoy Killua**

Requested by: SweetSerenade5281

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Okay, before you start to annoy Killua, make sure you are-

Immune to poison, electricity and any lethal weapon you can think of...

Away from any of the Zoldyck, despite he had quit the family; I don't think they would take it very nicely that you are riding the ass of their former heir and an assassin prodigy... especially the half-dead poker face Illumi...

Okay now we can start-

To annoy him, you'll have to do these things-

1\. Die his hair pink while he is asleep

2\. Dye his clothes pink and decorate it with frills

3\. Tell him that he has no butt.

4\. Tell him that he was a fool to quit Zoldyck family, cuz he would have inherited endless amount of money.

5\. Dress up like Illumi and scare the heck out of him

6\. Click pictures of his screwed face expression and tag it with "oh god! I made Gon Pregnant"

7\. Broadcast that he is a cross-dresser

8\. Con him to were a fluffy Barbie-doll clothes and live broadcast it to Milluki

9\. Pay Milluki (no matter how much money it would cost you) to blackmail Killua.

10\. Replace all his sweets with sugar-free snacks.

11\. Force him to do a blood-test and make a fake report that he has diabetes.

12\. And then announce that you are putting him in a sugar-free diet.

13\. Steal his skate-board and paint it pink with all fluffy filigree signs

14\. stuff his Chocó-balls with tobacco sauce, chilli puree and jalapeño flakes.

15\. Whenever he walks play the 'Zoldyck Family Theme'

17\. Tell him Gon isn't really interested being friends with him.

18\. Click pictures when he is showering and sell it in EBay.

19\. Inform fan girls and set them on him everywhere he goes.

20\. When he is sleeping call him like Illumi ... Like 'Yo Killu.'

22\. Give him a large chocolate cake and when he gratefully stuffs in his mouth, pay someone to say from outside 'it is one month old'

23\. When he is standing pensively, go sneaking and pull his pants down.

24\. Inform Illumi where he is currently staying and arrange up him with Killua.

25\. Cosplay like Illumi and roam around him.

26\. Tailor all his shirts with "I am in love with Leorio" words, with pink letters.

27\. Write threesome fanfics among him Illumi and Leorio.

28\. Make the latter two seme... and load the story with S&amp;M, BDSM and Hentai.

29\. Make him read those fanfics.

30\. Repeat every last word of his sentence and comment 'Spoken like the true cat'

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**Phew, I am finished... And now please keep requesting what character you want to annoy... and R&amp;R.**


	3. Chapter 3: Kurapika

**Hi guys, thanks for all those splendid reviews... yea! It's just marvellous... and many of you have requested but I am sorry to inform you that you would have to wait until a drabble or two, because before I realised that you would be wanting this so much, I had already prepared two... so please please please read them and I will act after they are finished.. it's only a couple... so don't worry... I'll do it for sure... you can get a stamp on that...**

**Indrani: ah! Too hot here... I need a bath!**

**Suddenly a certain psycho redhead pops out of nowhere...**

**Hisoka: *hugging by shoulder* may I escort you~ *twisted smile***

**Indrani: *ignoring him* Hello! Zoldyck mansion, I want someone to hire for killing Hisoka no-surname!**

**Anyway enjoy annoying!**

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**Chapter 3: 30 ways to annoy Kurapika**

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To start to annoy Kurapika, make sure you are-

Not a Phantom Troupe member, but have a great admiration for them, or you may fall a victim of his chains...

Extremely fickle by the law of nature...

Now we may start-

To annoy Kurapika, you need to-

1\. Shave his head, only the middle section while he is asleep

2\. Destroy all his underwear, replacing it with thongs.

3\. When he wears his skirt like tabard, make sure you pull it down and kick his ass.

4\. Ask him if he is into Bondage and BDSM

5\. If he asks why, then rudely point at his chains.

6\. Decorate his room with spider accessories and spider webs... make sure those spiders have twelve legs.

7\. Suddenly go sneaking from behind and grope his chest.

8\. If he asks why, then tell you were searching for the boobs.

9\. Ask what cup size he wears... A, B or C?

10\. Make assumptions that he is pregnant.

11\. Photoshop one of his pics to make him look pregnant and sell it to the Genei Ryodan.

12\. Smear all his pants (preferably white ones) with tomato ketchup

13\. Then go ask him if he is having periods.

14\. Give him a lifelong stock of Tampons and sanitary pads.

15\. Tailor all his tabards saying 'No 1 Chrollo Fan' with pink letters with lace.

16\. Call him in the two am in the morning and ask whom he wants in his bed... Chrollo or Leorio?

17\. Whenever he walks play "Too Cool" by Megan Jette Martin or "Do I Look like a Slut" by Avenue D

18\. Give him a big pink vibrator in his birthday.

19\. Or a beautiful set of Victoria secret Snow Angel lingerie collection

20\. Remix his character song "Eyes Burning Scarlet" with words like 'What the fuck' or 'I am a shithead' at the end of every line.

21\. Con his to wear beautiful lacy pink lingerie and send those photos to the Phantom members, with the tag 'Come and get me'

22\. Read 'an album of love' as 'anal bum of love' in front of him.

23\. When he looks weirdly, say it's for his own good.

24\. Mix strong-hold hair-gel with all of his shampoos... it will make his hair like Hisoka... stood up against gravity... not so pretty, I know!

25\. Lock him in a room with Feitan and Chrollo, when they have a serious gas.

26\. Replace all his fluids with lube.

27\. Scream out loud the word 'Vampire' every time he turns his red eye on.

28\. Pour pigeon-dung in his tube of toothpaste.

29\. Make Yaoi Threesome music video including him, Leorio and Chrollo (Leorio: Don't drag me in this or the PMS Guys will make me regret forever. Indrani: too late uncle! )

30: every time he speaks, angrily retort 'Look who's talking, the omen who haunts people with the ghosts of Kurtas'.

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**Thank god, I posted this, I thought you guys would like it and one more fic to go, then I will do yous... but in the meantime, don't forget to request, whom you want to annoy... and please please... I beg of you...**

**R&amp;R and don't leave me alone...**

**Kurapika: Drama queen! :/**


	4. Chapter 4: Leorio

**Hey thanks all for the requests and the reviews.**

**And to SweetSerenade5281 : My next drabble was Leorio, I had already prepared it... ARE YOU PSYCHIC ? *SUPER IMPRESSED***

**And for the other requests... I am going to resume from now one...**

**Indrani: and this chappie is dedicated to the fabulous obnoxious...**

**Leorio: what is the meaning of this huh? **

**Indrani: *smug smirk* Truth is always hard, sugar! Don't sweat it...**

**Killua: *hyper* SUGAR ... WHERE IS SUGER...?**

**Indrani: *facepalm* anyways, enjoy annoying.**

**Chapter 4: 30 ways to annoy Leorio**

Requested by: SweetSerenade5281

To start off you need to worry about NOTHING, CUZ HE DOES NOT HAVE POWERS... *burn sugar daddy!*

And the bright side is, you can always have Killua on your side...

And now we go-

To annoy Leorio you need to-

1\. Ask him about his age.

2\. Laugh about it and say you don't believe a word he says.

3\. Continuously call him 'uncle' like a baby, like: 'Uncle... uncle, I want a lollypop'

4\. Speak to him in Latin.

5\. If he stares at you say: 'And you say you are a med student who have an entire LATIN MEDICAL DICTIONARY'

8\. Invite him into your house for a movie jam.

7\. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

9\. Whenever he wanders off follow him and sing along at the opera.

10\. When he starts a conversation, especially serious ones, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."

11\. Replace all his porn and erotica with classical literature books, preferably: Bible, Paradise Lost, Divine Comedy and Old Chinese books.

12\. Slap him hard and run.

13\. When he makes a big deal to catch you yell "Help Police... Hisoka... Illumi... Zoldycks... Pervert..."

14\. Ask Him if he wears a corset.

15\. then when he asks why then ask 'Cuz, you'll give complex with that figure of yours'

16\. Put a Walkie-Talkie under his pillow and in the night when he is asleep turn it on and whisper in Hisoka's voice: 'I am watching you.'

17\. Replace his business-suit with snug tops and miniskirts.

18\. When he asks why then say: 'it will show off your hairy legs'

19\. Give him a ticket of a men's bath, preferably where only old men go and tell him that is a ticket to a super-sexy belly dancing show.

20\. When he comes back annoyed and complains say: 'I didn't say it was women who would be dancing and the wrinkly bellies of old men danced didn't it?'

21\. Draw rude drawings in his face when he is asleep... with a PERMANENT MARKER...

22\. Invite him for a driving trip, and hastily brake in every five minutes or when he is eating, drinking or doing something manual, making him to topple over.

23\. Clean up after him, means follow him and wipe and sanitize every other thing he touches.

24\. Lock him up with Tonpa, when he has a serious gas; even without the gas, it's fine.

25\. Handcuff him with Killua and make him babysit Killua for a day.

26\. Shave his head and write 'Baldy Egg' in his head with hearts and bunny cartoons with permanent marker.

27\. Tamper with his clothes that whenever he goes outside it falls apart and reveals his knobbly body.

28\. Whenever he walks around play "Glamorous" by Fergie.

29\. Give him a 'Garnier Color Naturals' with hundred percent gray coverage.

30\. Accidentally drop drinks over him and particularly on his GROIN.

**Thank god, and after that I will be doing request so please request your wish...**

**And R&amp;R**


	5. Chapter 5: Hisoka

**Hey guys, sorry for the late update... I have a stiff neck which is painful as hell... my mom is pampering me all day and it's kind of flattering...**

**Okay off to the business, I hope that you have a life insurance done in your house, cuz trust me you will be needing one...**

**Who needs to look at my note below at the author' note is Marygoround-**

**And ...**

**Hisoka: did you miss me hon? *creepy smirk***

**Indrani: go away before I kill you! *fiercely***

**And enjoy annoying.**

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**Chapter 5: 30 ways to Annoy Hisoka**

Requested by: Bakuretsu-Shio, KuraiOkami-Chan, Sally, Humphadoodle and Marygoround

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Okay, to start off, you need to be able to save your own ass, when the clown is in his full 'psycho mode' and not to mention you need to be IMMORTAL TO SURVIVE THIS DANGEROUS GAME...

If you got that now we can start.

To annoy Hisoka you need to-

1\. Glue all his cards together.

2\. Apply into circus with his name.

3\. Volunteer in Old-age home charity show under his name and make him do all the charity stuff for a day.

4\. Wash all his clothes in extremely hot water, that way all his clothes will shrink into Gon's size.

5\. Tie jingle bells to all his clothes.

6\. When he goes in the Men's room lay on the ground next to his cubicle and do floor angels and when he looks at you weirdly say 'hiya buddy~ wanna join?'

8\. Lay a trail of Tomato juice out of his stall.

9\. When he looks at it weirdly scream out loud 'does anyone have a tampon... this guy needs one quickly.'

10\. Keep pumping soap out of dispenser until his bathroom floor is slippery.

11\. Wait patiently, and laugh while clicking photos when he trips and falls.

12\. While talking with him, end every sentence with 'with the accordance of the prophesy.' For example: 'excuse me, are you Hisoka by any chance, the long-haired guy over there is calling you with the accordance of the prophesy. '

13\. Arrange his funeral and invite him there, without saying that it's his funeral, when he comes and finds out that it's none's but his, burst into tears and scream 'OH MY CLOWN... YOU ARE ALIVE'!

14\. Follow him with a walkie-talkie and report everything he does.

15\. Follow him belly-dancing.

16\. When he caught you sing 'Beautiful Liar' by Shakira and Beyonce, loudly and out of Key.

17\. Send Illumi a letter that Hisoka is after Killua and he will kill him soon.

18\. Send Hisoka a letter that Illumi is pissed of Gon for disturbing his brother and will kill him.

19\. Give them each other's locations and watch how they beat each other up.

20\. Capture videos and sell it to heavens arena where the fan girls can get his number and pounce on him wherever he goes.

21\. Mix inching powder and eczema pus in his face paint.

22\. Click picture of his puffy, red allergic face and send it to the Genei Ryodan.

23\. Replace his hair gel with liquid wax.

24\. Shave his head, eyebrow while he is sleeping, and write 'Nobunaga and Chrollo's penises are into Machi' with pink fluffy letters.

25\. Braid his pubes and decorate it with bows. Click pictures and send it to EBay store.

26\. Spread a rumour that Machi is pregnant by Nobunaga.

27\. Mix liquid heat with his makeup and deodorant so whenever he is out in the sun, his makeup would melt.

28\. Empty his bottle of lubes and pour super glue in the place, repeat the same technique with his shampoo. Brush some of the super glue in his sex toys... so that... he gets stuck!

29\. Change his ringtones into loud and annoying Russian opera.

30\. Change his mobile wallpaper with a naked picture of President Netero.

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**Phew, I am done, hope you enjoyed it, and it was super duper tough to do Hisoka's cause he seems so covert...**

**And to Marygoround: that's a hell lot of requests, but I will be doing them slowly one by one, so you have to bear with me okay?**

**And thanks again for reviewing... In the previous chapters...**

**Don't forget to do it this time...**


	6. Chapter 6: Machi

**Hey guys... I am back... and hopefully my neck-pain is gone and I am super recharged now... you people are super cool ya know!**

**Alright so let's make sure nobody dies here, cuz this time, its Spider...**

**Chrollo: if you do anything funny to any of my member I will make you regret-**

**Indrani: *dialling her phone* Hey Kurapika, did you hear... Chrollo just thought I will mess up with his 'member' *perverted grin* wanna join? **

***Kurapika hangs up***

**Chrollo: *after realising what Indrani-san meant and blushed tomato red* YOU!?**

**Hisoka: *totally interested* if that's the case then I might join too-**

**Anyway *drawing curtains over all the Hisoka X Chrollo non-veg scenes* enjoy annoying!**

**Chrollo: YAMETE!**

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**Chapter 6: 30 ways To Annoy Machi**

Requested by: KurapikaISaBOY, Just A Cadbury and Marygoround

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To annoy Machi you have to take care of your dear life and make sure you are immune to needles.

And now we can begin.

To annoy Machi you need to-

1\. Say that she looks like thirteen years old.

2\. Declare that the only man she would attract will be a paedophile.

3\. Stare at her for a very LONG time, without blinking.

4\. When she asks why, tell that you were just counting off the wrinkles on her face and comment that they were endless.

5\. Say that she has a lousy sense of fashion.

6\. Ask her politely if she is trying to seduce the Otaku Zoldyck Milluki.

7\. When she asks why, point at her clothes and say that you thought Machi was just cosplaying Konuichi.

8\. Steal her Mobile/GPS device and add several red signs of 'X-BURIED TREASURES' in random places.

9\. Give her a pamphlet of 'Cobbler Employment'.

10\. When she asks why, say with her Nen threads if she ever sews a shoe that will never be torn apart.

11\. Call her Pinkie (or Mauvy if you prefer the 1999 version) continuously.

12\. Ask what gender she is.

13\. When she says she is a woman closely look at her bust like with a microscope then say 'no I don't think so... Phinks has more bust that you.'

14\. Ask what size of bra she wears, because Hisoka is buying a bra for her.

15\. Give her random memos where at the top would be written 'for sensual massage'

16\. Fill her room with Yuri porns.

17\. Whenever she ends any sentence loudly burp or fart from somewhere they can't see you, but can hear clearly and reply with 'sorry my bad... But Nobunaga's Sukiyaki was too good.'

18\. Say that Chrollo is engaged with Kurapika.

19\. Because he loves bondage (Kura-Chan's chains are far too good. Kurapika: Arigatou!)

20\. Chew Pink coloured bubble-gums and blow loudly in front of her and hum 'Ooki Na Ringo'

21\. Holler 'Happy Halloween' whenever you see her. When she says it's not then say 'Then why you are in a ninja costume.'

22\. Ask her politely if she had sex with Nobunaga.

23\. Arrange her wedding with Hisoka and show off his naked pictures at wedding... IN A VERY BIG SCREEN.

24\. Smear her room with Shit... or fake shit, but make sure it smells.

25\. Sit in her room with the doors locked, when she knocks to come in, make several shitting and farting noise, open the door and walk out saying 'Ah! That was relieving.'

26\. Block her toilet and break the U-bend (trust me, when you realise, the most dirtiest water is flooding your bathroom, it's close to hell)

27\. Click pictures of her when she is in bathtub, changing clothes and showering, and sell it to Hisoka... Trust me; in joy Hisoka will kiss you!

28\. Ask her politely when she started to stuff her bra.

29\. Say at the end of every sentence of her: 'That's because she wants a threesome with Hisoka and Danchou.'

30\. Tamper with her room that whenever she tries to turn on the lights of her room Hisoka's Character song 'Kyousou Requiem' starts to play and the naked, most sensual pictures (and most twisted) of Hisoka is turned on with the lights you see in Las Vegas.

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**So how did I do? Please tell me, I know Hisoka's one a bit undertone and Thanks to AnimeFreak-san, to point that out.**

**And now the most important-**

**R&amp;R**


	7. Chapter 7: Illumi

**Heya guys... I had a really nasty idea today... ohahaha and I wanted to share it with you guys... and I hope it will be enjoyable to you guys.**

**Indrani: and I should start arranging some of the flowering for wedding.**

**Gon: oh! You are attending a wedding... whose?**

**Indrani: Machi and Hisoka's ... read my last drabble stupid!... *arranging pink and white flowers and humming wedding song* ah... they should marry in swimsuits...**

**Meanwhile Machi comes running and falcon punches Indrani.**

**Machi: GO TO HELL YOU BLITHERING IDIOT...**

***Indrani comes back crawling, heavily wounded and plastering a victorious smile on her face...***

**Anyway, enjoy annoying...**

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**Chapter 7: 30 ways to annoy Illumi**

Requested by: Sally, Luffyftw, Marygoroung and Ginny

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Before starting the warning would be somewhat similar to Killua and Hisoka ones...

Immune to any poison and lethal weapons you can think off and TRY TO GET YOURSELF A PHILOSOPHER'S STONE WICH WILL MAKE YOU IMMORTAL... And get yourself a heavy coverage insurance policy...

And now we can start...

To annoy him, you have to-

1\. Buy stale breads, grow moulds on them, make crumbs of it and spread it over his room.

2\. When he sees it, set on the pigeons.

3\. Cut his hair when he's asleep and tell him that it would be used to make Barbie dolls.

4\. Never break or make an eye contact with him.

5\. Imitate his talking style... and end his every sentence with 'Cuz he's a pretty zombie'

6\. Send fliers with his and his family's photos for million bucks and tagline it with 'open all night for bounties'

7\. Hack his assassination files and set his victims in a safe place, so that he couldn't kill them and get the money from the employer.

8\. Invade the Test Door and wake him up in the middle of the night, and say that you have a surprise for him.

9\. While saying that, drag him into his lawn and start to mow his lawn with scissors...and scream out 'SURPRISE...!'

10\. Make 'Therapist . com ' his homepage and make sure it reads (you may take a techno help) 'The Rapist. Com'

11\. Say that He should have an account in 'WintersExpress. com' for the finest paper in the world, instead try to pronounce it as 'Winter sex press . com'

12\. Replace his pins with hydrangea flowers... Especially pink ones.

13\. Photoshop his pictures so that he looks like a ballerina (Like Natalie Portman in 'Black Swan') and spread it across the house.

14\. Replace all his clothes with fruit-suits (preferably Banana)

15\. Sew anti-theft detectors in his underwear.

16\. Invade his room at the middle of the night and holler 'I am born to dance' and start to dance in some annoying music.

17\. Apply in L'Oreal fashion show with his name.

18\. Whenever he walks play "Fabulous" from High School Musical 2.

19\. Say that Killua calls him a deuce-bag behind his back.

20\. Along with dipshit...

21\. Whenever he trains his brothers, go in the middle of it and spread fertilizer all over the ground.

22\. Destroy his hunter license.

23\. Hysterically ran into his home loudly complaining that how could he leave you for that clown, even he knew you were pregnant... Make sure everyone in the Dentora district hears it.

24\. Draw a scar and round glasses on every picture of his ancestors... With permanent marker.

25\. Whenever he grows a killer aura recite... "Shall I compare thee to the summer's day/ thou art more warm and temperate"

26\. Say that he is so hot; he should drop the assassination business and join ONE DIRECTION...

27\. Then start to sing 'What makes you beautiful' from One direction in Irish Accent.

28\. Whenever he gives a death threat cough conspicuously 'mama's boy'

29\. Sneeze on his face... then run away saying 'You have cum over all your face... You dirty blowjob-doer'

30\. Randomly scream out 'STOP HAVING GEISHA HAIR... YOU BITCH' especially in serious situations.

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**I know it was horrible and that's why people aren't requesting more... please please request more, because... I WANT IT... ONEGAI... **

**And my head is spinning...**

**Please R&amp;R and Request of your fav hxh or hated hxh annoying bucket request.**


	8. Chapter 8: Chrollo

**Hello friends, I am back... and I am literally melting here, like an ice-cream, its 40c here and no sign of rain... Ah! It's frustrating...**

**Anyway, last night I had a crazy dream, where I was admitted into Hogwarts, precisely in Gryffindor house and my prefects were Machi and Chrollo who ordered everyone to belly dance! Can you believe that!**

**...**

**Indrani: anyway, today is dedicated to the 'Devil Reincarnated' because he's so full of shit *receives a lot of rotten tomatoes***

**Machi: IF YOU DIDN'T SHUT UP I'LL MAKE YOU REGREAT...**

**Indrani: In your dreams doll-face! I have **_**Hisoka**_**!**

**Anyway, enjoy annoying...**

* * *

**30 ways to annoy Chrollo**

Requested by: KurapikaISaBOY, Marygoround, SpadePirates4Eva, KHrandHXHforevs, Bakurestsu-Shio &amp; Thehisokalover,

* * *

To annoy Chrollo...

Please establish a strong friendship with Kurapika and please keep away from the Ryodan members... if you didn't then, I will not be held responsible for what will happen to you...

Anyway, now we may start.

To annoy Chrollo, you need to-

1\. Tell that only gays were fur.

2\. Then say, it was of no matter, because everyone knows he is in _love with Kurapika._

3\. Compare him with a cat. And tell him, that is because he summons fish in enclosed space.

4\. Throw up on his fur-coat, and say 'that's because you're bloody gross!'

5\. Stare at him for a long time and then approach with an eraser, try to rub it in his forehead, where cross-sign is drawn.

6\. Call him 'Spiderman' Machi 'Mary Jane' and Feitan 'Harry Styles' (I know he's from 1D)

7\. Play the theme 'itsy bitsy spider' or whenever he goes.

8\. Get tabs of his stolen goods and play 'Robin Hood'; meaning distribute all the stolen goods among the poor.

9\. Nick name him 'Cholera Lucy'

10\. as him deliberately if he has been to hell.

11\. Because, he is Lucifer... Duh!

12\. Ask him politely if his famous 'Ben's Knife' is stolen from 'Ben Tennyson' (Ben 10)

13\. Stalk him with a camera, record all his stealing and misdeeds... submit all this to the Hunter Commission.

14\. Frustrated with your doing, when he tells you to shut up, burst into tears saying: 'YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE, DO YOU PAPA!' especially in public and in front of lady-spiders.

15\. Replace his fur coats with the pink Brazilian Swimsuits.

16\. Call him in the middle of the night and start having the nostalgia about old days.

17\. Replace his 'Bandit's Secret' with 'Memoirs of a Geisha'

18\. Or tamper with his book, so that every time he tries to use any Nen, he ends up conjuring various naked girls with the most explicit poses.

19\. Tell that his eyes look like button.

20\. Hide in the bathroom and wait patiently until he shows up, when he does, scream loudly that he was trying to rape you.

21\. Pull his ears from various ways... sometimes try biting it.

22\. When he asks why, tell that you were finding the switches... Of his Christmas lights like earrings...

23\. Pay Hisoka to grope his pubes.

24\. Give him a Brazilian wax (meaning, a painful hot-wax in the pubes) when he's asleep.

25\. Act like he is possessed.

26\. When he is in the meeting, in his broken-down chapel, perform exorcism rituals around him, say that he's possessed.

27\. Every time he asks you go away, holler 'You're not my mom'

28\. Every time he suggests a killer plan, holler 'You're not fooling anyone... you three-faced whore'

29\. When he's asleep, cite random Voldemort quotes, in creepy voice, namely: "Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave Hogwarts unharmed"

30\. Scream the song in the random moments 'Jingle bells, Spider smells; fifty miles away'

* * *

**Phew, another down and next time, I would like to improve it... until then, I would like you to request for your bucket list...**

**Thank you again for those fabulous reviews and it just made my day...**

**Until next time... R&amp;R and don't forget to request! **


	9. Chapter 9: Feitan

**I am so tired of the same boring introduction... So skip and screw that and let's hit the story...**

**Indrani: Hello- are Feitan... you are already here... and look you did the introduction... *sloppily kisses his cheeks* thank you so much...**

**Feitan: and there goes my self-respect...into Hisoka' asshole...**

**Hisoka: I didn't know you were **_**interested in my asshole**_**... Perhaps we should be able to arrange something for you~**

**Indrani: am I so irrelevant here... Why there are always jerks like you!**

**Anyway enjoy annoying, and pray you come back alive this time!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: 30 ways to annoy Feitan**

Requested by: Marygoround, Guest, Killuka-Chan, Sweet Candy 180, EnchntedPhoenix, Hikari Sumika and KurapikaISaBOY

* * *

To start off please make sure you know certain Chinese remedies to cure torture pains and have Machi in your side to sew your fallen pieces (applied to both internal and external) and last but not the least, please try to get out of his reach when you do it...

Now we may go,

To annoy Feitan you have to-

1\. Ask him if he studies in Hogwarts.

2\. If he asks why, then say his clothes more or less looks like Hogwarts clothing...

3\. Every morning, leave a newsletter labelled 'Cross Dresser Anonymous' in front of his door, so that whenever he opens it, he does not miss.

4\. Give him through medical-checkups, which involve embarrassing physical examinations.

5\. Make a fake report saying that he is underweight and malfunctioning heights.

6\. Force him to drink 'Pedia Sure' in every 15 minutes... for better height.

7\. Try to feed him that in a baby-feeding bottle... In public.

8\. Braid his hair and spray a lot of hairspray when he's asleep.

9\. Ask him if he is a belly-dancer.

10\. If he asks why then say he wears a mask like one.

11\. Speak in a Welsh.

12\. When he does not understand say you were speaking in Chinese.

13\. Say you have met a Geisha girl whose name is Feitan.

14\. Dye his clothes into Shocking Yellow and Neon pink.

15\. Sing out loud 'Mary had a LITTLE lamb' with the emphasis on the word 'little'

16\. Give him a kiddy height-chart and 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' in his birthday.

17\. Enrol him into a Kindergarten.

18\. Force him to wear a bunny-girl suit.

19\. Whenever he swears, pull his cheeks and say 'don't swear or Santa won't give you any gifts' and conspicuously point at Chrollo.

20\. Nickname him 'Fei-Fei', 'Dwarf', 'Midget', 'Cutie-Poo' and other embarrassing names.

21\. Spread a rumour that he sings 'I am too sexy for my clothes' in his shower.

22\. Whisper 'Yeah... he is pretty deficient in ... _That area_' whenever he walks past you.

23\. If he hears and comes thundering, console him that it is not a thing to be ashamed of, because he' still a child and needs a lot of love and growth.

24\. Dare him to French-kiss Leorio (Leorio bursts into tears and cries under his shock-blanket...)

25\. Sleep with him and in the morning holler loudly "You've got no talent". Make sure every Spider hears it.

26\. When he is standing close to any Ryodan member yell 'Feitan... STOP TOUCHING (his or her name) THERE' and walk away.

27\. In the crowd, stand close to him, when he walks away, burst into tears saying 'WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS FEITAN... YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY' make sure every Ryodan Member hears it.

28\. Get a tattoo saying 'FEITAN ROCKS, KURAPIKA'S SOCKS' and make sure he sees it. (Does Kurapika even wear sock?!)

29\. Call him in 3 am in the morning and constantly rant about your periods and cramps... better would be ask him for remedies.

30\. Scream 'Prove IT' to everything he says.

* * *

**I am in the stellar mood right now, because I will be going into a vacation in the nearby Mountains, and its super snowy there... And I hope you have enjoyed it and please don't forget to request...**

**Feitan: I am coming to you...*deathglare***

**And R&amp;R... *swears at Feitan***


	10. Chapter 10: Phinks

**Hey my lovely readers, I am back from my vacations and believe me it was short and sweet just like the last night of Machi and Hisoka...**

**Machi: WATCH YOUR TONGUE... I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THAT CLOWN!**

**Hisoka: Are? I thought you had fun!**

**Before they start tearing each other up, let's get to the story.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: 30 Ways to annoy Phinks**

Requested by: Marygoround and Sweet Candy 108

* * *

Caution: please don't end up dead while you do this... Because, there is a fat chance for that...

Now to annoy him, you need to-

1\. Give him a book of gynaecology.

2\. When he asks why, describe the differences between a male eyebrow and female pubic area.

3\. Ask him if he Brazilian waxes his pubes, like his eyebrows.

4\. Badger him until he says 'yes'

5\. Demand to see it.

6\. Make him take sleeping pills and laxative at the same night (serving suggestions: try to mix it up with his food.)

7\. Wear a long black wig (not necessary if you are a natural black), paint your body gold and play Anck-su-Namun around him.

8\. or perhaps Nefertiti...

9\. Make it annoying than sensual, when he gets annoyed, scream out loud that you were his wife in the past life when he was King Tutankhamen.

10\. Nickname him 'Giza', 'Tutsy', 'Seti-poo' and many names after ancient Egyptian Kings.

11\. Call Feitan Julius Caesar and him Cleopatra.

12\. Ask him stupid questions about reincarnations... About his past life.

13\. Ask him if his mother was an Egyptian Queen and father a lion.

14\. When he asks why, tell that you are simply curious about his being a 'Sphinx'

15\. Shave his head while he is asleep.

16, when he wakes up and sees it, commercially say 'any resemblance with human is purely coincidental.'

17\. Say that "I`d love to go out with you, but my favourite commercial is on TV."

18\. Ask if his mother had a loud bark.

19\. When he makes a suggestion to the Spiders, especially serious ones, recite from faraway: "Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?"

20\. Say that Enhancers' punches are powerful because they are _naturally knuckleheads._

21\. And there is no vaccination for it.

22\. When he says you are annoying say that 'I am annoying, and you're ugly... And I can behave'

23\. Ask that if he is trying to imitate Niall Horan from 'ONE DIRECTION'

24\. Tell that it is not working... Because he will have to sing...

25\. And this is because he is a _backbrushed blond._

26\. Ask him time about the time; except early morning. When he does, ask cutely that if he reads the clock correctly, because the jogging time is long gone.

27\. Add that, he should quit it; because it's not working... he cannot have as hot six packs as Hisoka no matter how hard he tries.

28\. Spread a rumour that he is going to deflower Sharlnark.

29\. Whenever he is in mortal danger, holler 'Don't worry honey, I have a Pyramid ready for you at The City of The Dead'

30\. Attempt to kiss him in his sleep, and when he wakes up comment: 'Just like the Chinese Spider said: a horse's lips do not fit into the donkey's mouth'

* * *

**Yeah done... finally and I enjoyed the vacation in the mountains... saw a lot of real-life anime faces there... I could not believe my eyes when I saw a girl who back-brushed her hair just like Mitou-san does... and there was a cute kid who waved at me, had a cute tuft of hair which looked just like Gon's and yeah... for being inhabited with the Mongolian descents they all look like Japanese people...**

**And off with it... please request, even if I explode for all I care... and R&amp;R...**

**Don't wipe me from the face of the earth and please request... (Leorio: didn't you just said that?!)**


	11. Chapter 11: Complains Of the Character

**There are a lot of people asking me to this, but I ended it up late, so... so ... so... so... so... (x gazillion times) sorry...**

**Dude... I am fucked up here...**

**I have a hangover... On my hand...**

**There are two places that I can be... either here, or in the Lunatic asylum.**

**Indrani: and you thought I was talking to you... nah, it was just Leorio... **

**Leorio: enjoy the story...**

* * *

**Chapter 11: complains from the characters**

* * *

I was sitting in front of my computer, enjoying some screamy metal rocks... oh yeah, how I love those, and I turned it so so loud that the gentle knock on my door almost became inaudible, and naturally it missed out of my way. I was up on the chair dancing at the song, but after some moments I realised that the music stopped and next to me, my mother stood with a yanked off cable in her hand and looking at my way with a lot of doubts about my sanity.

'I don't know, what you are doing, but you better come downstairs this instance' she told me in the serious voice. Those shitty neighbours never cut a slack on a lonely girl like me...

I trotted on the stairs cautiously; those neighbours can make a really good racket, che! This is a real shit sandwich.

But when I reached downstairs, I really tripped on my threshold, cause in my study it wasn't my rogue neighbours that were sitting, but it was the most weird assortment of people I have ever seen.

A blond dude without pants,

A pink haired chick with black hoods and odd looking shades,

A dark haired man with swollen ears

A humiliated looking kid with black dishevelled tuft of hair.

A kid with pink hair which was wearing off to white and a swollen red tongue like a salami.

A tall deadpan nub with his black hair unevenly ripped off his scalp.

An old dude with knobbly body, who only wore a monkey-printed boxer-shorts.

A red haired chap with swollen face which was oozing from places.

A dark-haired Chinese midget wearing neon-pink and yellow robes.

And finally a bald bloke with shaved eyebrow.

I gaped at the people and despite their chilling and threatening faces, I waved at them, they looked ready to kill and I carefully, without turning my back to them, I found myself at the sofa and grinned nervously 'should I order tea or coffee-'

'We are not here for tea or coffee...' the nearest of the dudes; the pant less guy stood up 'I have never been this humiliated in-my-life' he said 'could you explain, how on earth did it happened it to my pants?'

He seized up a pant from back, which was white and smeared up what looked like tomato ketchup.

'Did you try a tampon?' I asked innocently, and to the retort, that guy frowned and a deep flush of red spread across his face. 'Do you think it's funny, do you? Spreading rumour about my... genetics and smearing pants with tomato ketchups!'His eyes shone blood-red 'and let's not talk about changing my underwear into some _abbreviated female lingerie_...'

'You have _thongs_? Seriously... YOU HAVE THONGS IN YOUR HOUSE?' the old dude with no clothes asked quite vehemently and then blond dude threw him a death glare and I sweat dropped.

'I don't know why you are doing this, but I suggest you stop it this instance' the pink-haired chick threw off her hood and her weird cat-eye shades and glared at me with puffy swollen eyes 'I can't sleep at night, because somebody just turned my room into a _freaking-Hisoka-Vegas-show'_ she was now closest to my face, and with my best efforts, I tried to throw the most innocent look as possible. 'I think you are barking at the wrong tree, because' I said to her, stretching up my back 'wearing hoods and those cat-woman shades don't help you to sleep... ' and I stood up the sofa.

'I cannot pee in peace... not even once...' the black haired kid looked at almost verge of tears, 'people keep scaring me in the washroom and taking pictures... Pictures... WAHAHAHAHAHAHA...AHAHAHAHAAH! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMOW!' he burst into tears and the kid with salami for a tongue patted on his back empathetically and glowered at me.

'lanl lal laloul ly lounlue... lil lurl lil lell...' that swollen kid retorted and his tongue flapped hopelessly. 'I am sorry, I don't speak _La La Land_' I said with retort 'write that down nub!'

The kid started write down in his hand and almost slapped at my nose with it, 'hey watch it...' I said but the moment I saw his writing I collected myself together.

_I am gonna kill you, when we are done with this_

_-the cat-_

From the start I thought I missed something important and their word didn't make a sense to me, but now it was as clear as daylight what was going on.

'Killua... Guys! How... er... nice of you to come...' I waved vaguely at them, melting with cold sweat, but t soon switched to disgust when I saw near the table-lamp, a red head guy was fake crying with a mirror, and his golden eyes quivered. 'Ah! What happened to my beautiful face...? What have I done to deserve this, in my birthday... now how do I face my Machi-chan.'

Machi stormed towards him and banged him with a can of room-freshener, which clanged on the floor with a loud bang. 'Stop imagining weird things... you deranged Psychopath... You are way better than your usual ass-banging self'

Really, much have I fancied Hisoka under my roof, but never, in my wildest dreams have I imagined that Hisoka will end up in my place looking like as if a fresh bunch of bees have attacked his face... although it's little in his face and much in his body-

'Although I am as displeased as anyone, but this is outrageous... People coming and ripping off my hair and saying that it would be used making Barbie Dolls' although Illumi said that with a straight face, I could tell he was annoyed... 'And I don't know why my pins have gone more floral!'

'Oi! I gave got worse than you...' The old dude said 'Don't know why my clothes keep falling off... Last Tuesday I tried to impress my Anatomy teacher and the next moment she sniggered saying 'nice monkeys''

Suddenly Hisoka ditched the mirror and staggered at me 'it was funny indeed, your jokes-' his tone changed into a more lecherous one 'I think our chemistry would work just fine, don't you think' and I swear to god, I almost pissed in my pants.

'Oh God bless him for that!' a dark haired guy who was crying until now, wiped his eyes and straightened up 'the things you call Christmas Lights were the _last souvenirs of my girlfriend_' he sniffed 'and now I can't walk a kilometre without having people over my ears biting it off' Chrollo sunk his face into Machi chest and Feitan, Phinks and Killua murmured 'Get a Room' while Hisoka and Leorio looked vandalised.

'Lucky guy...'

'Um... aren't you guys kind of missing the point' Kurapika stood up, very pantless and every now and then his pink thongs could be seen under his flipping tabard 'this person, has vandalised with our dignity... denied us a good sleep, besmirched our names in the anime worlds' he climbed up on my sofa 'and god knows what she is capable of...' he said and without any glances to others I swear I heard some clicking noise at the back 'she is using the fanfiction in the wrong way-'

'Cut that out okay...' Feitan said 'I don't give a crap to all this, I don't care she has changed me into fucking flamingo, but I admire her for what she has done to you' Feitan cracked a smile while Kurapika, looking shocked, covering his pink-barely-cover groin. 'I don't mind her, as long as I get such pretty results' he said slyly... 'Neither do I' Phinks replied 'although she has turned me into a pussy, I don't mind being annoyed... It's fan service after all' he cracked a smile, while others stood up with him. 'Gomen ne IndraniFOREVER –san, I think it is too... I totally forgot how much fun I had when they did all that to me... and they all looked pretty when they smiled' Gon said and pushed Killua to agree who mumbled 'yeah right!'

I sighed relaxingly, but someone hugged me from the back... it was the puffy faced clown, with face of a beehive squadron and body like Adonis,

'But in one condition...'Hisoka huskily purred in my ears 'You will keep going on'

I smiled and nodded 'as long as my readers want me to... and it also applies for you guys also.'

Illumi rolled his eyes.

* * *

**Thought i should do a filler to you... it's Hisoka's Birthday today and I thought to do it, but don't forget to request okay... it's the most important of all... you guys' support...**

**R&amp;R...**


	12. Chapter 12: Shaiapouf

**Hey guys, I was out cold for a long time and you must be thinking I am dead, but I am not... my finals are coming and it's a pain in ass...**

**Well after a complains, Kurapika and others specially said why I haven't tried to annoyed any of the Chimera ants and Killua even called me 'chicken' for not doing so, so here is the first ever Chimera ant bucket list,**

* * *

**Chapter 12: 30 ways to annoy Shaiapouf**

Requested by – Killuka-chan and PrimsonClementine

* * *

Before I proceed...

It is the same as always... please do not get killed, who will read my buckets then?

Okay... hajimari yo (let's begin)

1\. Go sneaking from behind and pull his pants down, especially when he's serving Meruyem.

2\. Then exclaim that the hunters were right, he is really cockless.

3\. Throw rotten tomatoes at him, (they are freaking hard to wash out, especially for you are a butler.)

4\. Glue his wings with his shirt (that would keep him from flying.)

5\. Wipe your nose in his wings... Hard!

6\. Cut the antennae like implement on his head and glue him on Meruyem's nose.

7\. Sew ugly green letters at his back saying 'Meruyem looks like a deformed squash'

8\. De-string his violins.

9\. Use them to hang your underwear.

10\. In front of Meruyem.

11\. Use the Violin stick as a plunger... To clean the toilet.

12\. Use the Violin bow as a baseball bat.

13\. When Meruyem is about to eat, play baseball with his food.

14\. And declare Shaiapouf gave it to you.

15\. Smear him with honey and set ants on him (huh, get the pun?!)

16\. When he ends up with swollen face, call him 'poofy'

17\. Spread a rumour that he has raped Komugi! Make sure Meruyem hears it.

18\. Stuff expired butter in his shoes, and brush grease on his soles.

20\. Click lots of picture and send it to the Ant King, and say 'he drank too much at an earthling hotel and got shagged by a human girl.'

21\. Spray insecticides on his face.

22\. Shave his head and attach the hair in his armpits.

23\. Ask him if he learnt ballet in the womb of his mother.

24\. Then declare his poses are absolutely wrong.

25\. Tell him he should ditch the footman-ship of Meruyem and join the fire-brigade.

26\. And this is because he is a living hosepipe.

27\. When he starts to cry call all the flood-rescue squad in the country.

28\. Force him to wear elephant-thongs.

29\. Collect used diapers, and super-glue with his shirt.

30\. Add the contents of the diapers in his face.

* * *

**Please please please review and request more, for expired jam doughnuts...**

**R&amp;R**


	13. Chapter 13 :Palm Siberia

***Singing* **_**suddenly... my heart seems clear... *gets smacked by Killua***_

**Killua: What took you so long... what were you doing in past few weeks?**

**Indrani: *offended deadpan* exams... studies... exam... and more studies, which are, possibly out of your league!**

**Killua: *angry* why you!**

**Gon: Ma, Ma... don't fight... we are friends, isn't it...**

**Hisoka: *hugging Gon* Why you are always right, my sweet Ringo-chan! Chu X3**

**Indrani: *grossed out* I don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: 30 Ways to Annoy Palm**

Requested by: RainyMorning

* * *

I won't repeat the cautions again, so please remain extra cautious, while you are trifling with Palm, cuz it can be extremely dangerous, if you get my drift... she is also kind of Psychotic... with capital 'P', if you count her beside Hisoka.

Now to start up, to annoy her you'll need to

1\. Play football with her little crystal ball.

2\. Steal her makeup, and replace it with 'Severus Snape's Potion Ingredients'

3\. And tell her it's because she is a witch.

4\. Name her 'Graymalkin' from the name of Witch from Macbeth.

5\. Ask her where are her other Weird Sisters are?

6\. along with her broom...

7\. Call her a failure of 'Gothic Widow'.

8\. or Yokai Kejoro , Honei-Onna, Joro-Gumo... any Japanese ghost who wraps hair around the body...

9\. Host up a date with Gon, and let the fangirls loose in their date on Gon.

10\. Better idea, arrange a party, invite everyone, just leave her out...

11\. in that party, take a selfy of Gon kissing you, and tag her...

12\. with a meme 'Gon... Has long GONE'

13\. Do a live webcam show of '100 embarrassing secret of PALM SIBERIA' And Put her room and most personal set of things on public display...

14\. Ask her of her 3size, and then send it to Hunter Commission... for evaluation process...

15\. Ask her to join 'Alcoholic Anonymous' and 'Smoker Anonymous'

16\. If she asks why, then say, hers lips look like purple and gross.

17\. Set Killua up with Gon in a date.

18\. Send their couple photos to Palm.

20\. Declare that Gon is gay... and the plus point is, Gon won't even deny... cuz he will think 'gay' as 'happy' and of course he loves Killua!

21\. Hack Knov's account and change his status from 'single' to 'married'... (She is bound to see one, you know she is a stalker...:D)

22\. Attach yours and Knov's (fake) wedding photos with it...

23\. Flaunt it proudly...

24\. Stalk her, record all her psycho modes, and send these pictures to Knov...

25\. Then declare, you were wrong, because Knov will have a lot of nightmares tonight...

26\. To make sure he doesn't... sleep with him, or at least let her think that way.

27\. In her important days, look more stunning than her, and steal all her due share of attention.

28\. Whenever she walks in the broad-daylight holler, 'look, who's dat new witch/psycho (whichever you prefer) in town?'

29\. Say she has droopy and saggy boobs...

30\. Reconstruct and complement her psycho looks and paint her hair white, while applying waterproof makeup to look her like an old lady while she's asleep... and hide all the removers...

* * *

**So here you go, my unlucky 13****th**** chapter... how was it, do you like it... and I wanna do more you know, so who do you want to annoy... it could be any character, from male to female, even ant... so please please please request... and, this particular one was requested long ago, but I had no idea, how to pull it off, since I barely knew Palm that time, so request... I cannot guarantee, the time but I will do it for sure, once I have known it...**

**I know some of the annoying ideas feel like bullying, but we can always make it up for that you know, with love for the character... :3**

**R&amp;R... Please and request...**


	14. Chapter 14 : Silva Zoldyck

**Hey guys, I am back... (Probably) and I will make sure this time, Killua will be happy!**

**Killua: why... Why do you wanna make me happy?**

**Indrani: you'll see... Cuz there is someone closer to home... (And I mean it literally!)**

**Enjoy the story...**

* * *

**Chapter 14: 30 ways to annoy Silva Zoldyck**

Requested By: Marygoround &amp; KurapikaISaBOY

* * *

To annoy Silva...

DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO KNOW? IT WILL COST YOUR! BLESSED! LIFE! *huffs of exhaustion*

Let's get started... 3, 2, 1...

1\. Give him a book called 'Modern Theory of Birth control'

2\. When he asks why, say: 'We know you love your wife... but Five? Seriously? At this age?'

3\. Ask him how large he is. Tell him to prove it...

4\. When he is in a serious business, pluck out one of his children's hair and scream 'DNA!'

5\. Make a fake blood and DNA test-report, which will say he is not the father of the Five Zoldyck Children.

6\. Ask him, if he is the illegitimate son of Boromir from 'Lord of the Rings'...

7\. Ask him what name Kikyo screams when she is in bed... cuz it was not his name she screamed last night when she was at Tsubone's place

8\. Invade his chamber at 2 in the morning, holler: 'Good Morning Sunshine!'

9\. Hack his bank-balance and distribute it to poor people...

10\. Break into Alluka's vault, and destroy everything... Let Alluka run free in this world...

11\. When he asks why, say that Alluka said *sing from movie 'Brave'* "I will rise, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky..."

12\. Call him at ungodly hours whispering seductively: 'Hey gorgeous, let's make a porno but we don't have to tape it!'

13\. Ask what flavour on Condom he likes.

14\. When said why, then exclaim: 'Gotoh is going for monthly shopping and he told you to ask it to him...'

15\. Replace all his clothes with size zero baby-doll lingerie (courtesy Victoria Secret) Inform Kikyo that he has those 'size zero baby-doll lingerie'

16\. Pronounce his name not as 'Silva Zoldyck' but 'Silva's Old Dick'

17\. Give all the butlers a day off... All of them...

18\. Soak a tampon in tomato juice and stick it to his shoe.

19\. Ask him how a bra is worn... force him to demonstrate.

20\. Ask him the difference of a regular and push up bra.

21\. Ask him where the baby-making hole is?

22\. Send him several love letters titled 'Silver light of my life' From: Tsubone. Make sure Kikyo knows it...

23\. Put lube smothered coloured condoms on all the doorknobs.

24\. Run inside hysterically screaming Illumi has eloped with Hisoka.

25\. And it is genetically certified that he is a female.

26\. Ask him how the babies are made... with demonstration.

27\. Follow his with the Cosplay of Zorro... when he discovers loudly say: 'No I am not gonna fuck with you Silva... no matter how hard you try' (p. S.: as loud as you can)

28\. Tell him that Kalluto and Kikyou are having joint affairs with Gotou.

29\. Activate an automated voicemail, which, when a call is made, will speak as 'Silva's porno retailers,'

30\. Randomly sing: 'I like your booty but I'm not gay'... it would be even confusing if you are a girl...

* * *

**Yosh done! Next up Kikyo... or else she'll kill me...**

**So don't you have any particular requests... on annoying your favourite characters? Then what are your waiting for? Request right away...**

**And R&amp;R... please... pretty please... (^_^) **


	15. Chapter 15 : Biscuit Krueger

**Hey guys! *runs from flying shoes* hey ,don't hate me! I know I had been gone forever, but I had some situation...**

**1\. My tutor gave up on me for her pancreas infection, only three months before my finals**

**2\. I had to go through a painstaking search for another tutor.**

**3\. when I finally got one, she gave me a pile of work to finish, which took my hunger and denied my sleep**

**4\. and worst of all... Finals!**

**Killua: seriously... get a life ahjumma!**

**Indrani: what is an ahjumma? Doesn't sound right to me...**

**Killua: it means oba-san, in Korean...**

**Indrani: I thought you were Japanese? How come-**

**Killua: Milluki (-_-') he is a Kpop maniac now... and demands me to call him Milluki-Hyung (**_**Hyung= elder brother**_**)**

**Indrani: but Kpop is good... the bands are talented and there is a lot of good music, I especially like SHINee, EXO, 2NE1, BigBang...**

**Killua: enjoy, before she blows off...**

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**Chapter 15: 30 ways to annoy Biscuit Krueger.**

Requested by : Guest, Marygoround

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Warning: Just get you shit together... you'll need it.

1\. Repeatedly ask her how old she is... (Pretty old school but still works)

2\. If she doesn't answer the straightway go: 'isn't really time for you to retire?'

3\. Ask where she had done her plastic surgery.

4\. When she says its nen... Don't. Ever. Believe.

5\. Stare at her for a long time and say: 'they never get the eyes right... don't you think it's a bit off centred'

6\. Compare her hair with giant noodle strands

7\. When she is asleep, pretend to eat her hair (I dare you)

8\. Replace her 'magazines' with lesbian ones.

9\. Or better... draw rude drawing on the male models' faces and turn it a comic book ... rude comic book.

10\. Replace her frilly girly clothes with ugly shapeless torn hip-hop ones (I love Hip-Hop, especially if the rap is sung in Korean, Japanese or Chinese... I have yet to experience other East Asian languages)

11\. Replace her make-ups with monster's face paint or horror special-effect makeup...

12\. Or you can always lace them with itching-powder.

13\. Throw her a birthday party, and display the banner 'Splendid Seventy' or any old-age number you like

14\. Get her addicted into KPOP (she is bound to fall, for there is so many good looking guys) then crush her favourite boy-band (seriously I will be pretty pissed when someone insults SHINee or EXO... go online, they are pretty good)

15\. Knock her door in ungodly hours and loudly scream 'HOUSEKEEPING...' (This gets my mom everytime)

16\. Get loads of photos of her real form and post it online with the meme: "Side Effects of Botox"

17\. Gift her butt-lifting panties (somehow, every muscular girls gets annoyed by this)

18\. Call her tacky and old-fashioned, cuz she wears bloomers and granny-panties.

19\. When she asks for what she should wear, fake that you're reading a catalogue and say 'Oh sorry... max size is 4', which will be annoying, cuz definitely she will rip them off in her real form.

20\. Ask her 'Are you all natural?', when she says 'yes' then say 'seriously... I need names!'

21\. Replace her collection of gemstones with normal stones... annoyingly painted ugly stones.

22\. Destroy her house, the hire Palm for housekeeping.

23\. Give Palm 1000 bucks to stalk he all day... every day... 24X7

24\. Compare her to Lady Gaga... then show her the most disastrous Lady Gaga pics.

25\. Gift her load of cosmetics... all of them should be anti-aging...

26\. Make a sorry face, and say 'For you ... It's free'

27\. Tell her blond hair and hunter profession don't go well (P.S. dumb blond jokes)

29\. Ask her about some news that happened many decades ago... repeatedly. When she asks why, say 'I thought you'll know when it originally happened.'

30\. Call her 'Pedo' whenever she eyes a handsome guy... Magazine or real life.

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**I tried pretty hard at this, and I used some KPOP reference, like botox, plastic surgery etc... and I am recently addicted to KPOP and I think my upcoming updates will see the references... so keep requesting and I will definitely do it.. **


	16. Chapter 16 : Kikyo Zoldyck

**Chapter 16: 30 ways to annoy Kikyo Zoldyck**

**Requested by: **neon13CT

**Sorry for the delay, I had a serious writer's block, and I was out of inspiration too. This one might be too graphic or violent for younger readers, so I rate, specifically this chapter : M, read on your own risk**

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Warning: Please be alive….. to read the fanfics

1\. Replace her dresses with jumpsuits

2\. Replace her hat with the men's hat

3\. Click selfies with her sons and send her over with the memo: 'We're engaged'

4\. Or better, photoshop her sons' photos to portray that they are in a gay relationship

5\. Even better, tell her Illumi is an Internet porn-star sensation

6\. Ask when the last time she had birth-control

7\. Ask when the last time she got laid

8\. Tell her Illumi is secretly fucking Hisoka (well…. It's not a secret anymore)

9\. Replace Silva's document with pornos, and make her found it

10\. Tell that Silva has been cheating on her with Amane

11\. And then tell that she had rather 'lost her touch'

12\. Ask if she is cosplaying Saiyans from DBZ

13\. And if she asks why, point at her visor

14\. Ask politely if she is cross-eyed or has impaired vision

15\. Pay her a lot of condolences for her eyes.

16\. Give her a plenty of medicine supply for eyes

17\. And tell her, your great cousin's father's friend's nephew's grandpa's friend's second cousin's girlfriend's ex's brother's best friend's fiancée's (well you got it) brother-in-law is a very good eye surgeon

18\. Replace all the corset stings with coconut-fibre/just-fibre ropes

19\. Follow her and take phonetic notes of the way she talks (the way linguists analyse speech patterns) and say them aloud

20\. Ask if all the Zoldyck children are from Silva, in front of everyone

21\. Let loose all the infos about her betrothal proposals before she was married, or better, sell them to a magazine editor

22\. When she is sitting down, pretend that you are being chased and hide under her skirt

23\. When you are inside, grope everything inside, and mumble loudly the comments: i.e. 'oh I see, so that's what a bloomer looks like' or 'no wonder the stockings stay up…. It's for the garter belt'

24\. Ask what her favourite sex position is

25\. Or what kind of penis she prefers, circumcised or uncircumcised.

26\. If she gives a positive answer, in front of her ask Silva if he is circumcised or not

27\. Give her a vibrator and say 'it is the exact replica of (male famous people of preference)'s dick'

28\. Tell her to try it. On. The. Spot

29\. Call Silva to help her demonstrate

30\. Naturally she will deny or blast out, say 'I always knew it, it is the time for your coming out…..' about being a lesbian.

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**Bloomers : Knee-length panties from 19****th**** century**

**Garter belts: worn in the waist with belts dangling from there, holds the stocking in place, 14****th**** century**


End file.
